Last winter, I met a woman, whom I’ll call Emma, at a kid’s birthday party. Our mutual friend asked her when her surgery was, and she nonchalantly gave the date, which was in about a month. I asked what she was having done, and discovered that this was no routine surgery. She was donating part of her liver—62.8% to be exact—to a man she knew casually from church.
Several months before, she had discovered that he needed a liver transplant. She and her husband discussed it, and decided either of them would be willing to donate, if they were a match. She was.
They moved forward with what would be an 8-9 month process. Steve’s levels had to be just right so his body would be able to receive her liver. When the time came, Emma was in the hospital for a full week. During that time, an army of friends took care of her and her family, bringing meals and a huge gift basket, driving through a blizzard with cozy gifts of pillows and blankets to visit her in the hospital. Her husband took eight weeks off work while she recovered.
What struck me most when I first met Emma and then when I talked to her after the transplant is how humble she was about the whole thing. It was almost like she had just helped Steve load his groceries into his car. I could tell serving others was just a way of life for her.
Steve had a few minor complications after the transplant but is doing great, and so is Emma. And she saw it as a great opportunity to teach her kids about service. She says, “It’s just a reminder to them of what giving is. Sometimes what God calls us to do is hard, and can make life a little inconvenient for us.”
I have so many great stories to share with you in this podcast episode, from mothers who, like my friend Emma from the intro, have found beautiful ways to reach out to serve in their communities and beyond. This is the second episode about service. The first, episode 21, focused on serving family and friends. I truly believe that being a mom is specialized training in how to identify and serve the needs of others—a skillset we can then take into our communities and the world, when the time is right.
This is one of those episodes that I’m not going to transcribe—it’s just so much better to hear these moms tell their own stories, in their own words, from helping elderly members of the community to providing a magical Christmas experience for disabled children, to building community gardens in Guatemala, to creating Christmas videos that result in bringing water to villages across the world.
Here are links, photos, and videos that go along with their stories below.
I have so many great stories to share with you in this podcast episode, from five different mothers who serve their community and the world in beautiful ways. I truly believe that being a mom is specialized training in how to identify and serve the needs of others—a skillset we can then take into our communities and the world, when the time is right.
Here are brief summaries about each of the moms I feature in this episode, along with links, photos, and videos that go along with them:
Stacie Cowan
Stacie was looking for a way to teach her kids the importance of helping others in their own community. So she went to justserve.org, a website that allows you to enter your location and find service opportunities nearby. She found Aging Resources of Douglas County (formerly Neighbor Network), an organization that connects volunteers with elderly members of the community so they can remain in their homes.
Their first project was helping a neighbor, Mrs. Rex, spread mulch in her yard. The relationship they formed that day blossomed until they felt like family. They still help her out throughout the year with different projects. Sometimes when they go over, Mrs. Rex plays piano duets with Stacie’s oldest daughter, and she brings them treats for holidays. One Christmas, she had a great surprise for them. She had embroidered beautiful Christmas stockings for the whole family.
They serve other people too, stacking wood, fixing things, giving rides, etc. This opportunity to serve has really made a difference for the whole Cowan family, helping them reach outside themselves to make a real difference for others.
Maybe your community doesn’t have a resource like the neighbor network, which has recently changed its name to Aging Resources of Douglas County, but there are still lots of opportunities to serve and help your kids connect with the elderly members of your communities.
I grew up singing regularly with my family at retirement homes, and have continued that tradition with my own kids. If that’s not your jam, Lisa Hoelzer has an idea for you. When her kids were younger, they regularly took games to a retirement home, and played and visited with residents.
One Mother’s Day, Josette and her daughters brought bouquets of daisies to mothers in a nearby convalescent home.
When Angela was a teenager, her friend organized regular visits to a rest home to record their stories, write letters for them, etc. Danielle Banner holds piano recitals at retirement homes so the residents can enjoy the music. And Shanae Briggs attended an art class at an assisted living place with her kids. I’ve always had such a soft spot for older members of our communities who might not have family nearby.
Donna Coto
Every time I run into my neighbor, Donna Coto, I find out about another amazing cause she’s involved with. She’s made serving others her mission in life. This was a conscious decision she made when she was 17, after her friend Kumi got into a tragic accident. She was hit by a drunk driver and suffered a traumatic brain injury.
“That’s where my mission came from,” Donna says. “Understanding what her family had to go through opened my eyes to the fact that we all have stories and nobody really knows that story. What I’ve learned, and what has become my motto, is that everyone deserves compassion and kindness.”
Years later, in 2007, on Kumi’s birthday, Donna stumbled upon a pamphlet for a the Pikes Peak Challenge, a hike to support people living with traumatic brain injuries in Colorado. She hike it that year, and since then has only missed two years, when she was pregnant and had a small baby. That’s 85,800 vertical feet—I did the math! This year, team Kumi had 34 team members and raised $11,671.61.
Then three years ago, Donna stumbled upon another opportunity. She took her son to see Santa and was taking pictures. Santa asked if she’d be willing to take some pictures of him with kids who had special needs.
This was all Donna needed to kick into gear. She found a beautiful outdoor location, and enlisted volunteers to decorate and donate refreshments. She introduced herself on a local Facebook group for kids with special needs, and her sign up form filled up quickly.
The event was such a success that a representative from the town reached out to her and offered a beautiful indoor venue, free of charge, where they’ve held the event for the last two years and for the forseeable future.
Donna very actively teaches her son Paxton to serve, as well. Through the years, they’ve done several service projects together, including one where he collected donations for the local pet shelter, since he loves animals. Another great opportunity they’ve discovered is through Coloradogives.org. This site has a special kids section that includes a fun quiz to figure out what kind of giver you are, and figure out what cause you’d like to donate to. Even if you don’t live in Colorado, it’s fun to see what causes interest your kids. You can access it here: https://www.coloradogives.org/kidsfor
Donna also bought Paxton an e-card from Colorado Gives for Christmas, so he could choose how to donate it.
Another similar opportunity is coming to Colorado and nine other cities—Light the World Giving Machines. They’re vending machines that allow you to choose from an assortment of items to give to people in need, and donate on the spot. The other locations are Manila, Philippines, Las Vegas, Laie, Oahu, Hawaii, Gilbert, Arizona, Salt Lake City, UT, Orem, UT; San Jose, California, New York, and London.
My kids are getting so excited about the visit we have planned to the machine. I put up a flyer with all the items on it and asked them each to pick what they want to donate. Then I created a chart with jobs and how much money they can earn, and taped envelopes with each of their names on them. (It’s not pretty, but it does the job.) I pay them with fake dollar bills, and then once we get to the machine I’ll pay with my credit card.
I found out about another really fun way to find a cause you’re passionate about to support from a fabulous podcast called Midlife Mixtape. This podcast also happens to have my very favorite podcast tagline: “For the years between being hip and breaking one.” The host, Nancy Davis Kho, has been part of a giving circle for 15 years.
She meets with a group of friends four times a year, and they take turns presenting charitable organizations to which they can donate. They’ve paid to put women in Uganda through college, funded community vegetable gardens in food deserts, helped furnish apartments for formerly homeless people, among many other causes. She says, “It has been a blast. Those four meetings are usually the highlight of my whole year, because we start with food and drink and gossip—yes, gossip—and we end knowing we’ve made a positive difference for someone.”
You can learn more about giving circles by listening to Midlife Mixtape, Episode 54: Giving Circle Founder Jacqueline Jacobs Caster.
Jen Brewer
Jen Brewer and her husband decided to make service a priority for their family after Christmas one year as they sat among remnants of the wrapping paper and boxes. They decided they wanted to change their priorities away from “stuff” and teach their children to be humanitarians and global citizens. So they started looking for opportunities to serve.
It was hard to find organizations that would allow her seven(!) children to help, but then Jen got a phone call. It was a friend with whom she had served a church mission to Guatemala. She had just been on a trip to Guatemala, to the very village where they had served together, on a humanitarian trip. They allowed children and were working on programs with nutrition. Jen is a nutritionist and was working on her master’s degree in community gardens.
So the family headed to Guatemala, and they keep going, every year or two. Jen’s husband, Jerry is a dermatologist, so he does skin surgeries while they’re there. The kids usually help building or making repairs at schools, and they also did a program to build solar light systems for churches and community buildings. As for Jen, she focused in on her own strengths—nutrition. She is currently researching the effect of community gardens on malnutrition. She visits Guatemala more frequently than the rest of her family to keep these gardens and the research going, so she can make real, long-lasting change for this village. And it’s made a long-lasting change for her kids, as well. They have a whole new perspective on their comfortable lives.
Whitney Slade
The last mom I’m going to feature today is Whitney Slade. Her family’s Christmases were forever changed—at least for the last eight years–by a question she asked her husband in 2011: “Should we start sending Christmas cards this year?” Her husband Micah had a different idea: “Why don’t we make a Christmas video instead?’
They came up with a fun idea for our video: to film an underwater Christmas morning scene in their neighbor’s pool–decorations, Christmas jammies, and all—to the tune of Blue Christmas.
The video turned out so well that they decided to use it for a good cause. They researched and found a perfect fit for their underwater theme—Charity:Water (charitywater.org), an organization that funds water projects to bring clean water to communities throughout the world. They just fell in love with the organization.
That first year, they earned a modest $145 for Charity:Water. Even that relatively small amount felt so good that the video Christmas card became a family tradition. Since that first year, they’ve made Christmas videos each year, always donating to Charity:Water. They love coming up with crazy ideas for the videos—from an incredible anti-gravity Christmas scene to a full-blown food fight—and they have so much fun filming them. I dare you to watch just one.
Their goal for the cards quickly changed from just having fun to centering around serving others. In 2015, they decided to go a different direction and give a family a home for the holidays, as the song says. They started building the house in September, learning as we went. The kids helped the whole way through, from sanding wood to drilling screws to painting. Every spare minute, they’d be out working on the house.
In November, they recorded a video of the partially finished house, inviting people to nominate families who needed a home for the holidays. They also asked for a $20 donation to Charity: Water with each submission. They received over 150 submissions, and then had family and friends help read through them and decided who they should pick.
On December 20, the whole family piled into a truck, towing the completed house, and drove it all the way from Arizona to Florida to deliver it to Lindsay—a long trek, including a couple of flat tires.
In 2016, they were able to give away two cars in addition to raising money for Charity: Water. But for 2017, they really wanted to focus on Charity: Water and raise enough money to get an entire well built for a community, instead of doing a big giveaway. And they reached their goal! They raised $10,670 and built an entire well for a community in India.
Last Christmas they raised another $11,260.00 for a well in Mozambique. And this year’s card will be out any day now. Before starting these videos, the Slades had always tried to teach their kids the importance of service, but now it’s just a given that their holiday season will revolve around these videos and around blessing the lives of people all over the world.
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